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Red lights are ON!

2006-07-13T13:28:00.001+08:00

I still feel pain at my ankle and back of my right shoulder.

Monday 10/07/2006 in the morning, i was suppose to go for my lesson, the pain at my ankle woke me up. The pain was unbearable!! Finally woke up, and i had to struggle to my door to tell mummy i got to see another sinseh this time. Do u feel my pain? *sighz* At 9.30am, im all prepared to go.

*At the consulation*
Doc: Whats wrong?
Me: ankle pain
Doc: walk feel pain or injured?
Me: wake up and got this pain
Doc: 尿酸过高导致痛疯......
ME: I was like OMG!!! what the hell is he talking about
Doc: if this is serious, will cause my life. if it was some inexperienced sinseh, i would have landed in hospital.
Me: I AM SHOCKed.
Doc: did not exercise much is it?
Me: *knots*

*Before leaving*
Doc: cant eat 豆类food,veggies,CHICKEN,DUCK
Me: can it be cured?
Doc: yes..takes some time. if u want it fast, drink watermelon juice and more plain water.
Me: sighz... my favourite food of all times..
Me: can get me MC ?
Doc: ok. come back after completing the medicine. will 发功 on it..

These few days are the hardest days of my life. I am having a hard time looking for a 'legal' food to eat just to take my medicine on time. I kept myself to 叉烧 and 烧肉 lately, now that i have limited choices..I AM LOST! I thought to myself.. 'am i going to be like this for the rest of my life?' , 'what if im the one that is giving wifey the burden looking after me?' , 'am i going to depend on drugs for the rest of my life? , 'will i be leading a normal life again?' *SIGHZ*

BEST PART: I receive a mail today from my school and it says.. 'the MC that i submitted is not accepted! cause its from a chinese doctor'

WTF!

All of a sudden i felt so scared. Can someone answer my questions, Please?

2006-06-05T19:29:00.000+08:00

這是一ㄍ裝滿永遠祝福ㄉ櫃子>>
＊═─═─═─＊
｜　幸　　福　｜第一格抽屜有永遠幸福
＊═─═─═─＊
＊═─═─═─＊
｜　快　　樂　｜第二格抽屜有永遠快樂
＊═─═─═─＊
＊═─═─═─＊
｜　美　　麗　｜第三格抽屜有永遠青春美麗
＊═─═─═─＊
＊═─═─═─＊
｜　健　　康　｜第四格抽屜有永遠健康
＊═─═─═─＊
＊═─═─═─＊
｜　聰　明｜第五格抽屜有永遠聰明
＊═─═─═─＊
＊═─═─═─＊
｜　愛　　情　｜第六格抽屜有愛情永遠順利
＊═─═─═─＊
你會開哪１格呢？？ㄏㄏ～～

╒╧╕ ╒╧╕ ╒╧╕ ╒╧╕ ╒╧╕ ╒╧╕ ╒╧╕
｜一｜｜二｜｜三｜｜四｜｜五｜｜六｜｜時｜
｜笑｜｜笑｜｜笑｜｜笑｜｜笑｜｜笑｜｜常｜
｜煩｜｜怒｜｜憾｜｜病｜｜永｜｜樂｜｜開｜
｜惱｜｜氣｜｜事｜｜魔｜｜不｜｜逍｜｜口｜
｜跑｜｜消｜｜了｜｜逃｜｜老｜｜遙｜｜笑｜
╘═╛ ╘═╛ ╘═╛ ╘═╛ ╘═╛ ╘═╛ ╘═╛
╒╧╕ ╒╧╕ ╒╧╕ ╒╧╕ ╒╧╕ ╒╧╕ ╒╧╕
｜願｜｜你｜｜天｜｜天｜｜都｜｜開｜｜心｜
╘═╛ ╘═╛ ╘═╛ ╘═╛ ╘═╛ ╘═╛ ╘═╛
╭╧╮╭╧╮╭╧╮╭╧╮ ╭╮☆
║要│║常│║想│║念│ ╰我╮
╘∞╛╘∞╛╘∞╛╘∞╛ ☆╰唷 ...
　﹒☆?°☆∴°﹒°．﹒?°∴° ☆..．﹒?°∴☆

抓幸運星送給妳好不好???

☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★

☆如果可以抓住流星劃過的剎那★

★我要許下一個願望☆

☆祝妳幸福快樂★

~每當有人向星星許願時
那顆星一定會閃爍著
當妳看見最亮的那一顆星時
那是我為妳許的願
★ 願你幸福快樂 ☆
☆ 願你平安如意 ★

。怕妳沒時間看夜空
　　　我都把最閃亮的星星放在罐子裡。
﹋偶爾上來看看裡有我滿滿的祝福^＿^
╭═════╮
║★★★★★ ＼　　　　　　　　　★
║★★★★★★╰╡　　　★　　　／　　★
║★★★★★ ★★★★★／／　　
║★★★★★★╭╡ ★★★　　　　　★　
║★★★★★ ╱　　★★★　　／
╰═════╯ 　　　★★★／
∵~★．°☆∵。*∵~★．°☆∵。*∵~★．°☆∵。*
★一罐幸運星~ ☆
☆把滿滿的祝福通通送給妳！！！★
★要收好哦.... ☆

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

｜　　　我　　
╭╯﹊╰╮　給　
∥幸　福∥　你﹃
∥風　鈴∥　的天　
╚－╩－╝　祝天　
╚－╩－╝　福幸　
　　｜　　　　福
　　╰☆　　　呦
　　∵☆　

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

New start with a bad dream

2005-11-07T15:00:00.000+08:00

We were surrounded by cops. It was terrifying. Was smuggling drugs then. They found us, our hideout. Many of us went down and i was one of the few survivors. I had no return at the point of time. I had nowhere to run to nowhere to hide. Gun shots are everywhere, it seems like they were surrounding me. Remembered i had a dinner this saturday and i landed myself in a situation like this.. Took out my phone and message her as fast as possible. "I am going in jail cos of drugs. sorry". I woke up.

*thankfully it was a dream and only a dream*

Holidays ending

2005-11-05T03:21:00.000+08:00

Requested for darling to stay over at my place since she had her make up kit here. I too want her to stay because it has been a week plus since i last met her. Hadnt had enough of the day before.. Beginning she rejected. And i cried. Finally she agreed hehe.. so happy :P

Today is my last day helping Qs. School is starting coming Monday. Soon our ROM.. i have still got 2 things yet to settle. 1 is the dinner and the other is transport. Hopefully transport wont be a problem.

p/s: PoPo...tmw meet ok? den ermz... dont know liao. just feel wanting to meet u. call me when u wake up and if u happen to read this k. waiting for ur call :)

Jumbo

2005-11-05T03:14:00.000+08:00

Saw someone unfamiliar days ago. It was jumbo! ugly!! specs! Could not believe my bro to find such girl as a partner...... *god please save my bro* I thought to myself i will not accept jumbo as my family member no matter what! Bro definitely deserves some better girls..

p/s: Darling we together help look out ok? :)

Today...

2005-11-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

So happy cause i received compliments from her relatives and parents. haha.. Had our photo shoot today. Everything goes on well except for the computer that break down which we are not able to select our photos. I look STUNT when i saw her make up done completed with the hairdo. Woah... She was gorgeous!!! Holy shit. I did not make the wrong choice.. hehe *attracted* *drools*

Our day end with .... "he's the best" , "he drives steady" and errrrr ???
Gambate~ :PpPP

ROM le ROM le...

2005-10-14T11:56:00.000+08:00

Very soon. Very fast. I have not got my things yet. Still need a shoe, a shirt (that red checkers that i have been searching for), a belt and a hairdo. We have not book the place for dinner. Just seem like we are going for the last minute thing. haha.. That is how preparation is... how it makes us feel more ????? Dont know what is the word to use. It somehow makes us feel the day of event the belonging ...

Single no more.... =PpPPP

Monday 10.10.2005

2005-10-14T11:42:00.000+08:00

Things happened again. Got my hands disfigured this time. I never know that i can put up with these.. i know i am not going to hate her for this :]

Morning 10+am, i message her that QS wants to settle the contract with her and discuss about detailly. Met her at my house. 3+pm QS canceled it. We stayed for dinner. Went watching "The red shoe". Time's up and we are going home. She have not finish watching the show. Due to this, she took my thumb to save it and bring home to continue the rest of the show. Because of this... she saw something that was not meant to be for her eyes. I got my scratches somehow.

Things at her place i dont want to talk about it further. Same style same way same treatment i received. sighz.

Please keep to yourself what you are about to see..

2005-10-14T11:28:00.000+08:00

I was so stress since my first lab test. I had problem completing the program and handed in. I thought i should have failed. I have no confidence. At the last day of the paper, i am afraid i wouldnt make it too. I wrote just what i can think of at the point of time. The lecturer is not the kind that would be lenient but the kind that is expecting technical answers for his questions. So afraid i written junks of rubbish to him. Damn.. i am mentally prepared to fail again... =
Last night, upon knowing that i would be receiving my results today, i felt more stress. I was even prepared to see that i fail 3 subjects again. Woke up and saw a message. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..........

WAPD : p
MWNK : P
MBDP : P
MDBS : P
CMSK3: P
wts : p

This is what i saw... hahaa. I created a miracle again! Now someone's gonna pray to me.... =PpPP No more stress.. no more repeats... i am a step nearer to my cert!!! congrats~~ think i gonna celebrate~!

Pictures update (!Thumbnails: Click to enlarge)

2005-09-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

Birthday part 2

2005-09-14T00:46:00.000+08:00

Received FOUR birthday cakes... 3 piggies and a watch.

Wishes.... Wonders... Hopes....

2005-09-12T03:26:00.000+08:00

I am looking forward to my birthday. She had programs planned. I wonder what is the cake she baked for me. I have been trying to hint something from her since she reached my place. Finally i get to know what is it that she is busy with the whole day. She read recipes and made it on her own. 真的是好有爱心的蛋羔哦...

I had made a wish in the ktv. I really hope it will 退现.. And now i only am thinking of what she is going to give me tomorrow and what are her plans. Hehe.. Have a good night rest and welcome my big day!!! :PpPPPP

***!~HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHEN JIANHE~!***

Sunday 11.09.2005

2005-09-12T03:06:00.000+08:00

As usual she came down looking for me. She had been busy the whole afternoon trying to bake cake for me, my birthday cake... :pPpp It has been years since i cut a birthday cake. I requested for my birthday cake made by her a week ago. I never expect her to really bake 1 for me cause she dont even know how to cook a meal.

She reach my place at 8+pm. I have no plans and have not had my dinner. Went to road side stalls at Esplanade for my pineapple rice. I suddenly have a craving for pineapple rice. Then QS message me to come to the ktv after my dinner. He had planned to celebrate for me. We went after our dinner. On the way, Shannon called and ask where i was and what to get for me..and he decided to get a cake for me.

We reached at 11+pm. At around 12:10am, Shannon brought out the cake that he bought. Dedicated a birthday song. Sang birthday song to me. It has been really long ever since i had this kind of feeling. I was kind of touched, not knowing what to do.. i keep smiling :) It is a black forest birthday cake

We drank and left at 2am. Sent her home and Home Sweet Home. What a celebration~~~!

Birthday coming le!!!

2005-09-09T01:14:00.000+08:00

Few more days to my birthday le.. What will i get? What will i do?

曾经

2005-09-08T17:58:00.000+08:00

曾经我告诉自己我是多么的了解你..曾经我是那么的有自信..可是直到今天这一切都无攻自破了. 你我之间象是有了距离,仿佛就搁了面墙似的. 我是不是因为自己身在热恋之中,才做了一个毫无理智的决定? 我是否该从新再认识你呢?

You told me i can get to know u better in future cause we have alot of time together, but i dont see how i can when i cant do it now. Am i really making a decision out of love? or am i making a decision out of 冲动?

i was asked to write something.. =x

2005-08-31T01:27:00.000+08:00

Booked for IPPT the other night. I had told her to stay at my place yesterday cause it will be more convenient to be going for the interview in the morning today. I was so lack of sleep that i woke up having headache. Accompanied her for the interview. Had MacDonalds' breakfast after that. Took panadols with the meal. Went hougang to bring out the notebook. On the way, i slept on the thigh. Felt better after the rest and the headache was much or less gone. I am the luckiest pig!!

Went for the IPPT later in the day. I failed again. I failed by 1min... hahaa.. Took 980 back home. The ride home was real long. Cuddled her to sleep. Lent her my arm to rest on. We finally got home at around 830pm. And the rain came...

i wished someone was there to listen to me and my sorrows

2005-08-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

So busy. So tired. So lazy. I made an effort to finally blog again. Many updates...

Firstly, we bought a notebook, a lcd tv and a home theatre system. It feels more like home with these essentials. yeah~
Secondly, we have been looking for gowns and suits for our ROM. I found and bought what i will be wearing.
Thirdly, we have finally booked for our big day, our ROM. We registered on 11th August 2005 once it struck 12 midnight. Our ROM will be on 12th November 2005.
Fourthly., i have been searching for and planned for the events for our ROM day. I decided on one and brought it up. We made a reservation at a hotel and will be booking for a ROM dinner for the day. Blah blah blah...
Lastly, things have been repeating. I was taken on a joy ride.. not wanting to talk about it.

Remember that friday night, we were on our way to hougang house. While on the way, in the bus she suddenly tells me she told her mom that i have been causing the bruises and injuries on her. Ever since she had starting seeing me, she had the bruises. I was shocked when she told me it. For god sake... who will be saying these things to their parents man??? I mean who will want to leave a bad impression on their parents about him/her. Attitude changed. Met mummy at the terminal and went together. I felt feverish and i walked fast. She had thought that i deliberately show mummy that we quarreled again by not waiting for her at the lift. I had told her i dont like her to slow down when things happen. That made me walk faster. In the end, she left when she was already at the void deck and while i was resting, mummy came in to ask where is she. Till then did i realise she never came up... never did i expect her to do such stunts. For this stunt, mummy had a '?' about our ROM. God please save me.......

Saturday night.. it seems like i made things happen again. Phuck da shit.... I stood at the corridor for about 2hrs. I had to leave when mom came to the door and told me to leave. I left at 3+ am. This is the very fucking first time i had an elderly telling me to leave. I got drunk.
Sometimes i just think that i am asking for too much. But isnt it ok to have requests; requests that aint too much to do? Who will be here to listen to me??

How To Limit People Who Are Detrimental To Your Relationship

2005-07-27T14:29:00.000+08:00

The first step is to realize there is a problem. So, to start you'll need to understand how they are harmful to your relationship. Before taking any action, decide what it is about that person that is a negative influence. Do they make harmful comments? Do they fail to be supportive? Are they draining you emotionally or financially? Really take a look at the overall effect the person is having on your life. Once you've determined to what extent they are a problem, you'll need to figure out a way to dissolve the effect they are creating. The most effective way is to remove them from your relationship completely. That means no more communication. First, you will need to cut off communication for as long as you possibly can. View this period of time as one of getting back to what is more important. You'll know when the time is right to make contact again. If you can't remove them, find a way to remove yourself for a short time as this alone time for you as a couple is extremely important. The point is that when friends are an outside influence causing problems in a relationship, they will continue to create conflicts until they destroy the relationship or until they are found out. For example, "How to know if your partner is faithful to you?" causes you to have doubts about your partner.

10 Ways To A Healthy Relationship

2005-07-27T14:24:00.000+08:00

1. Don't nag!

2. Resolve arguments quickly... and REALLY resolve them!

3. Forgive and truly forget.

4. Don't bring up past problems when addressing a new one.

5. Constantly remind your love of how much you love them.

6. Never lose your respect for your partner.

7. Even though you are a couple, never lose your self-identity.

8. Schedule and never break a weekly date with your partner. Even if the date involves staying home.

9. Don't lie or be unfaithful to your partner.

10. Make it a point to say and show that you love your partner every day!

2005-07-27T13:58:00.000+08:00

Every couple needs to have some basic common points of agreement in order to succeed. These "agreements" could be as simple as you both know you want children, or that you both have similar moral values. One of the hardest situations to deal with is when one partner is obviously more committed to the relationship than the other. It may be because one loves the other more, or it could be that one of you is just not ready to make a commitment yet. Everyone deserves to be treated with value and love. If you have a partner who doesn't respect you, talk to them about it. Let them know how you feel. After some period of time you do have to put in effort to keep it alive. It doesn't have to be much. In fact, the most romantic people I know just take the time to do the little things to make their partner feel special. Make a commitment to do something romantic at least every day. Commitment is the greatest key to a successful relationship. If you are committed you will always find a way to work things out. Nothing can damage a relationship more than dishonesty, even white lies. In every case, honesty is the best policy. This also means... don't put yourself in situations you feel the need to lie about. Relationships are built on trust. Once broken it's very difficult to rebuild. Avoid, at any cost, falling into this trap. Trust is an important part of any relationship and it needs to be developed. If you say you are going to do something and don't, then how can your partner rely on you in the future? Treat your partner with respect.

I am suspecting that i am having amnesia... oh no

2005-07-22T05:56:00.000+08:00

I cannot get to sleep! I flipped here and there. So i am here now to write off what was on my mind. I have been wanting to write about this.

Sometime back then, while having supper with my parents and her, i noticeably found out that mummy's hand got few scars =( . Did she scald herself at work? Is she working very hard for my study? =..( I felt really sad. I feel she ought to be enjoying her life now. She should be staying at home and doing what ever she wants. She should not be working. Deep in my heart, there came a voice telling me "You should not let her down and finish off the rest of the course" in the middle of the night. I really should. I wanna bring her good life. I dont want to be a disappointment. Furthermore i have a wife-to-be to live with soon. I wont be able to do anything without a cert. I want to make it happen. I want to make it come true. I will finish the rest of the course! I will need to avoid distractions. (*^-^*)

Mummy nagged at me again at 1+ am. Told me to make a decision fast; either get a job or continue my study. Days are passing fast. I think i am going back to school next week. I have to finish the course somehow. I have to have full concentration on my cert. The ROM still goes as planned. No change.. the only thing that is changed will be the program for that memorable day. I had something in mind, just something budget. Bring on the friends.. just friends and family members. hehe..

Had a tiff with her again. Do i have to bring this up another time? We are on a cold war. Did she ever have me in her? This is the second time she approach a colleague for advice rather than me... What the hell. She does not respect me! Is she going to listen to him or me.. I am the one she is going to be living with but not him alright! Things, matters, whatever... first to come in mind , first to approach , first to relate to WILL have to be the one closest to her.. Am i right fellow human beings????? Hell no.. she chose to approach him! a someone who isnt even close to her. What more it is a "HIM"... HELLO?? ... what is the problem now man
*God damit shit* (pardon me for my language) (hope she knows what is good for her)

Received a mail from her today. Asked me to add in a counter for her site. I have added a few fellow bloggers to mine without them knowing i did. I am not wanting to share with too many of them, but just having a few new ones added to read on sometime. Got news from a friend that she is married just recently. Like hey.. she is younger than me, only 20. I am not alone.. There are people doing it even younger. That is a good thing for me. With this going on, i am more firm with my ROM. =PpPPP
Cheers to young couples~~ and the gonnabes~ We will bring in the future. hahaa

Yesterday i went for a job interview at cineleisure. It was a game shop. I reached and i did not went in. That is just me. Well i guess, that is not an environment for me. Wandered around. Saw Royce and Margaret. I bought something before heading home. It was so embarrassing because of the fat and chubbiness. Got back home pennyless. Hahaa...

Today i went for a try for IPPT at Toa Payoh SAFRA. Wanted to see if i did improve on my running. The facilities at the gym was great. They even have jacuzzi and sauna in the chaning room. Starting to plan for coming as and when i am free to use them. Wondering if they need to charge for SAFRA members. I passed everything with silver standings but fail my 2.4km. At the last 200m, i looked at the timing. It reached the passing timing (2.20km--12m:20s). I stopped the machine and went off. Disappointed. Regretted. I should not have slow down. Could have passed and receive a $350 voucher from the gym. Sigh. But at least i know my standings. I have to work harder.

i am writing this since 5:56am till 7:05am.. woah~ i sure do have alot to write.

It is a hard time being a mute

2005-07-13T01:52:00.000+08:00

My voice has not totally recover today. Been going through the detox program for 2 days now. Seems ok. 2+ pm she came online. Told me she changed her phone number. I was shocked. Then closed the friendster account. I didnt really wanted her to close it, maybe just remove some things in it will do. What's done is done. What can i say? She did all these to prove to me. I have to trust her..

6:08 pm she messaged me. Told me she is coming. Lying beside me, i cuddled her. Suddenly i heard her crying. Tears rolled down her cheeks. I wiped off the tears. Asked her why but she did not want to say. I know what she needs now. I feel u dear... i know =]

*i ("v") you*
----------
*I WANNA TALK!*

打是情,骂是爱

2005-07-12T14:07:00.000+08:00

不打不骂是祸害

today

2005-07-12T13:24:00.000+08:00

Woke up not feeling as much pain like yesterday. I am feeling better but still no voice. =[

keeping it up.

2005-07-12T02:28:00.000+08:00

Who likes being left disappointed anyway? At least I don't and that is why i never say things which i think i cannot do. I don't want others to feel it too. As time goes by, it is hard to regain one's trust for him or her. Setting an example myself is a good guide to people who loves to 开空头支票.

It made me stop and wonder.

2005-07-12T02:23:00.000+08:00

Days ago she sms me "i not using friendster,msn anymore". Days has passed. It made me stop and wonder if she really meant what she says and what she had typed in friendster. Seened her replying to messages and messaging. Am i seeing things or am i just too sick?

*wonders & ponders*

What the fuck

2005-07-12T01:55:00.000+08:00

A rat running pass right in front of me in my room. Woke mummy up. Told me she dont know how to catch and went back to sleep. -____-"

can someone bring me to see doctor?

2005-07-11T10:26:00.000+08:00

It is the second day today. My throat is not getting any better. I need to see a doctor seriously. I cannot talk if i go alone.

*helpless child* =...(

ZzZzZzzzzzz Yawnz

2005-07-11T01:16:00.000+08:00

I had a dream. I found a nokia phone in my dream, it is white. Woke up in the morning feeling pain in the throat. First time in my life i felt this kind of pain. Difficulty in swallowing even saliva.. and totally no voice. I cannot talk for the whole day today! =( I had things to say...

Went Paragon to look for the ingredients that i need for my detox program. I was shocked to learn that raspberry actually cost more than i expected, but no choice i bought it.

"GO AWAY, GO AWAY", it came to me so many times. What the hell! I am pissed.

Try out

2005-07-06T00:36:00.000+08:00

I had a thought just when i was sleeping. I decided to give it a try for a month since i have to wait for another month to book for the ROM date. What i am going to try for this month is.. during this one month, if there is any tiffs regarding friends again, consideration about booking the date is over. It can't work now; it won't either later. Let's just pray hard :)

p/s: something u loves, something u wants. Only one. Take your pick.
tiffs: argument,bickering,difference,disagreement,dispute,quarrel.

Disappointment

2005-07-05T16:48:00.000+08:00

Full of disappointments.

Committing

2005-07-04T18:47:00.000+08:00

Pause for a moment and think if you are ready to commit. If you are still asking for freedom or you are complaining about lacking of outings, the truth is you are not ready for any commitments.

My advise: Learn to give up. It will be worth for someone you cannot live without. Trust it.

Settling.......Decision making is an important part in life

2005-07-04T18:33:00.000+08:00

I start to wonder whether my eyes are making fun of me. Recently, i kept seeing things moving from it's original position. A moment it was here, the next moment it got shifted.. Hmmmm...

I wonder how.. i wonder why.. I start to ponder "How did the things move?" When? Who?

She has agreed to wear my ring.. Something put off my mind. My main focus now is much more obvious. Hee... cheers to 龙猪~ :PpPP

For the first time

2005-07-04T18:25:00.000+08:00

I made it finally for the first time last night. Feeling was great!!! Tired then.. =p

Tried it on for the first time, but i failed. Hoping i would be given a second try.. and YES i had.. hehee. This time i made it. When would be the next try? hmmmm :)

Topic today: Would u still be concern over exs?

2005-06-29T00:22:00.000+08:00

Will you?

Marriage

2005-06-10T17:15:00.000+08:00

It is about commitment of two hearts. It is not sweet talks and flowers, but forgiving and compromising.

I guarantee there will be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one, or both of us is gonna wanna get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I will regret it for the rest of my life... because i know in my heart, that you are the only one for me.

Marriage is like a fine wine, as it ages it just gets better. Look at all the good times and leave behind the bad, for there will be more wonders to find in each as time passes by. Marriage is not about the beginning, marriage is about the process and still being able to love through all things.

Determination is the key to a successful marriage.

Remember to always tell me you love me but also show me that you really do love me with your actions and feelings. The hardest part of love is to Live up to your commitment for love. I'm not perfect. You're not perfect.

You kiss me to kiss me more.
You hold me to hold me longer.
You love me to love me forever.
What happens when you stop kissing me?

LOSERS!

2005-06-10T17:10:00.000+08:00

Friends always come between us. I fucking hate this word "FRIENDS" now. I swear whoever bring up this word to me from now, i will slap the shit out of that person. They will just be losers! They will just be in their shithole! They should be where they belong!

i am still young

2005-06-10T12:44:00.000+08:00

I am still young. I have a bright future still. Why do i have to stick myself into this mess.. For a simple reason, i thought to myself; i like to love and be loved. Sacrifices, Efforts, heart.. which one had i not give enough? So fucking damn it! I FUCKING HATE IT!!! FUCKING LOSERS!!! FUCKING LOSE!!! FUCKING GET LOST!!! FUCKING TRY ANYTHING BUT NOT ME!!! FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!! LOSERS!!!aaaaaaaaaarrrRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

:)

2005-06-08T11:32:00.000+08:00

I felt her once again. She knows what i mean. I am glad :)

These few days i had been having tummy aches and i told her about it. She had wanted to rub for me the day before but it is not possible due to no room for privacy. Yesterday she went to visit a doctor for her sore throat and went home early, so i thought of going to her house and visit her. Then she offered to rub for me again. Yesh.. i felt happy :)

Later cooked prata. Everyone came home. And i left at 10.30pm if i remember correctly. MY LIFE IS ALL ABOUT YOU.

Once again..

2005-06-03T17:27:00.000+08:00

Love can be an enemy or a friend; it can be a poison or a remedy; it can kill or give life to others, so use it wisely. Learn to accept what is yours and what is not. If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are is FIRST CLASS! Giving up is shortest route to pertaining what you have.

Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you but trusting them not to!
Love cannot live where there is no trust. Trust...takes years to build and only minutes to tear down. Love is when you understand without knowing the source. Love is like taking a step forward off a cliff not knowing how far you will fall; but trusting that it will not harm. Trust is not given; Win it!

You can never find love through the eye or ear, you have just one pair of ear to listen to one mouth.. so listen to the only one. There may be many people that are trustworthy, but only a few are worth trusting with your heart; choose wisely. You can get advice from family, friends and strangers, but the best advice comes from your heart; it never lies - trust it. Trust me when I say, even though I'm not there. Do you trust me?

(^-^)

2005-06-01T00:08:00.000+08:00

(^_*) :P

???

2005-06-01T00:05:00.000+08:00

FUCK!

Damn u!

finally 1st school week is over~

2005-05-27T23:20:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhh.... first week of year 2 life has ended. Tired. sucky. My new mates are the top students! God save me please.. i am feeling so pressured. Decided to go for the Great Singapore Sale tomorrow.

In search of enlightment..

2005-05-17T02:09:00.000+08:00

Everything i do is for her. Everything i do is for her. Everything i do is for her. Everything i do is for her. Everything i do is for her. Everything i do is for her. Everything i do is for her.
Why often than not things she does, makes me .......? why? Haizz... Guess i got to learn to forgive freely. That is love. No pain no gain..

"True love is a wonder that has no end or beginning"

2005-05-09T19:52:00.000+08:00

True love doesn't have a happy ending because true love doesn't end. The best thing about loving and being hurt is that you get to know what true love really is. For as gold is tested in fire, and so will love be perfected in pain. If you have the courage to love, you have the courage to suffer. Forever is not a word...rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there. There is one pain I often feel, which you will never know. It's caused by the tears that fall from you. Remember that the truest love, is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other. No matter how hard things seem, true love will aide you through it. If you are willing to trust in a person when all others tell you to go against it, if you are willing to risk getting your heart broken because you believe in that other person, Then that is true love. I did just that.. Time has no meaning when your in love.. You have found true love the day you realize that you want to wake up beside your boyfriend/girlfriend, every morning, even though you have your differences. To truly love something, you must first give it a chance to fail. If it survives, it is going to be stronger than ever. Distance is pure proof of this, and forever we will love if we survive. True love is what I feel for you, for you have my soul, heart and passion, those can only be felt again when I desire you.

Dreams vs Reality

2005-05-04T13:24:00.000+08:00

Hasnt there always been a saying that dreams always turn out the opposite in reality?

Letting go?

2005-05-04T01:51:00.000+08:00

Can u really let go? To me, i finally know the answer now. I cant. I had a bad dream last night again. After so many days she spent together with me, i thought i can let loose a little.. but no i cant. My dream woke me up. I cried in my dream this time.. I was so afraid of losing her.. I somehow recall it to be like this......

Remembering she showed me a message saying this saturday there is an outing to MW. Then i requested that she not go but she chose her friends than to me. I was so sad then. And so she went and i drank. I could not believe this. I went looking for her. When i reached, we quarrelled. While quarreling, there was a guy that kept looking and she too looking at. I dont know what came into my mind that made me said something like "why dont you go get his number!" Guessed what? SHE WENT!!! I cried..

I woke up..realising that i really cant loose her. I want to let her join friends, but i cant and i really cant do it...I really am scared. =( I was so tired then but I cant continue to sleep.

I dont know

2005-04-29T11:39:00.000+08:00

I cried. I decided to go to my other house to drink. I want to get drunk and cry to sleep. I really cried. I fell asleep. Then my phone rings at about 10pm. It auto off.. she has reached. Forced myself to get up and walk to the toilet to wash up. Felt like throwing up..

I fall on the bed again. Then i heard knockings at the door. I got myself up and get the door opened. Went back to my room. Feeling numb, feeling tired.. she came in minutes later. I could not control my tears, they just came rolling down my cheeks. I really cry in front of her. I dont know how. =
I went to cook some food for her. Had actually told her i am cooking for her but i did not. She helped and we ate dinner. I cant eat anything.. i felt uncomfortable maybe cause i drank without eating anything. Sighz...

*eyes tired* *sad* *hands hurt* *headache*

How do u know if she/he loves u enough?

2005-04-27T00:56:00.000+08:00

I dont know but i will try to find out. She had repeatedly given me the signal,"Hey! im still not sure about us". Suppose when deciding on something, let's just say buying something new, if there is a slight moment of hesitation.. then i am sure that the relationship has not gone through hardships. It sets me aback on the relation... 我有了疑问..这让我把放出去的风筝线收回了一些些.
如果要真正的去爱一个人要想那么多,这会很累.. "Im still not sure about us" what does that say? It means the relationship is not worth the investment. Save for the rainy days would be a better choice i guess. 有谁能告诉我如何爱才算是足够的?

*puzzled boy* ._.

Friendliness..

2005-04-26T02:36:00.000+08:00

Being over friendly.. especially to a member of the opposite sex, it is threatening to me! There is no good girls. A good girl is never faithful.. this is what i agree. The reason is that she can be friendly to me and at the same time to many other guys.. In life, you give something in order to gain something. Nothing is for free and you dont take things for granted. Give And Take! Dont be selfish! It is the best for both to go separate ways if both cant 配合 each's request, cause in the end it will just end up both being sad. I believe if a girl truely loves you, she will cut down whatever activities that is involving guys or behavior that will result in unhappiness. She will! Unless other wise.. she is not putting in 100%. Take it easy if this is the case or have the courage to give her up. This will be better. I am already prepared for the worst if anything happens. Guessed i am still young, i will have a bright future.. So why be sad over it? Live life to the fullest!!! =P

Friend

2005-04-25T04:00:00.000+08:00

Can a male and a female just be friends? Or should i say would a male just want to be a friend? Recently i had received complains from my friend, saying that his girlfriend has been meeting her buddy and so call good friends. We are living in the real world where only the strong survive. I personally dont believe there can be 'good friend' between a male and a female. After all... the reason that let them get to know each other is hoping to develop a relationship. It is a real world out there.. (._.)

Thoughts..

2005-04-23T01:05:00.000+08:00

True love dont exists. True love is only when you get marry or when you are blind. If you want to have freedom, dont commit. 大方can never be found in love.. want 大方dont get involve with love. I guess that is all i wanna say. (-.^)

shattered mind...

2005-04-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

Alright... now i am finally awake. I know what should be the way of treating things. I will just not be bothered about anything involving relationships. I will not care who, where, what, how and why.. if i get to know my other half is touched or taken advantage of, i will only say to her "good bye" simple as that. Am pretty sure that this is going to benefit me alot. :) hope everything is going well for the future. hehe..

*brightened up boy* (^-^)

Tortoise search goes on....

2005-04-19T02:50:00.000+08:00

Saw the atrium sale going on at causeway point while surfing yesterday. Decided to go try my luck to see if there is still the tortoise on sale. Reached but somehow i feel i was being cheated. Left disappointed. Dropped by sun plaza. Nothing there.... Went on as planned, met her for a show. Upon meeting, she brought the jelly she kept for me to eat. Finished them and she finished my bubble tea... Then she asked,"my colleagues going for a meal in JB this fri, wanna go?" oh well.. that is going to be a No.. Then another one came,"would u mind if my colleage send me home everyday?" hell yes! mood changed. For a moment i could not concentrate on myself. Went bugis. Bought the tickets and went for tepan. Had a walk then to the theatre. In the mid of the show, she was shocked and gripped my hand so tight that bit of my skin peel off. I never realise it till i was eating my ice-kachang just now. Sent her home after the show.
hmmm..... sighz. I would appreciate if she can stop giving me problems that is relating to guys. How good will the world be then.... Something came into mind. I thought if i had said no, she could have said ok but do the other. Initially i wanted to say what was on my mind, but it is not nice so i didnt say it. I had wanted to reply regarding the colleague sending her home, my reply is "dont ever sit in my car if you are going to sit in his." What is the point then? Especially when she is the stubborn type; when asked to change she wont whatever. *sighz*

Saturday

2005-04-17T04:35:00.000+08:00

Decided on going to look for the tortoise for her to redeem myself. First stop at cineleisure. Then to heeren. Cant find. Had a walk around orchard then. Walked to forum. Cant find too. Went on the suntec to try. Cant again. Guessed there isnt any to be on sale. I am feeling sad all of a sudden. Wanted to stop by a 7-11 to get a beer and get drunk off the night. Messaged Adrian. Asked where he is heading for the night. He replied and i meet up with him to have a drink together. Had a bottle of chivas and beer and vodka. Cant get myself drunk enough...Received a message from her. Replied her. Chatted over the messages. Agreed to meet me tomorrow at my place. Then Adrian called it a day at 3+am.. Went on the punggol nasi lemak. Went home straight away. I hadnt eaten for the day. Reached home. Cooked a pack of maggie for myself. Bathed and eat....

Why am i torturing my body? *sighz*

爱是什么

2005-04-16T14:41:00.000+08:00

☆∴.﹡﹒＊﹒。．☆....﹒。．∴＊‧．﹒..☆
★愛是一種感覺, 即使痛苦也會覺得幸福
愛是一種體會, 即使心碎也會覺得甜蜜
愛是一種經驗, 即使破碎也會覺得美麗
喜歡跟愛是不一樣的~~
喜歡是盪秋遷..可以自得其樂..不需要別人的回應
愛是翹翹板.☆
☆∴.﹡﹒＊﹒。．☆....﹒。．∴＊‧．﹒..☆

愛上一个人..........如此的甜蜜卻又讓人受傷害
放棄一个人..........如此的難過卻又讓人心碎

~※→因為愛你.所以放手還你自由←※~
~※→因為愛你.所以不再讓你困擾←※~
~※→因為愛你.所以寧願自己難過←※~
~※→因為愛你.所以我逼自己離開←※~

如果我還一直深愛著你...你是否還會待在我身邊?
如果我還一直在乎著你...你是否會再多看我一眼?
是否我已不存在了...你才感覺的到我的離開?
是否我已離開了.......你才感覺的到我對你的好?
在此祝福全天下所以的有情人~都能夠忠誠眷屬~~

真正愛你的人不會說許多愛你的話卻會做許多愛你的事......

Late night

2005-04-16T10:09:00.000+08:00

Turned in early. Switched off the light. Moments of her weeping is still in my mind. Cannot control myself. Wet my pillow. Got to sleep. Did anyone tell you that the best time to cry is when you off the light when on your bed? Cause noone knows.. After crying you can sleep right away.

Happen to see

2005-04-15T23:57:00.000+08:00

She sent 2 messages to my mail. While updating my blog, i logged into my hotmail. Saw 2 junk mails and opened it. It's her. How would i know she had messaged me?? No popup from msn saying that i have 2 new messages.
1st... im still outside ur house 9:51pm
2nd... okok. if tats the case i leave.. :.( 10:05pm

I dont know about it!!! haiz.. had my phone stopped working? arghz..

Why

2005-04-15T23:26:00.000+08:00

It wasnt easy to do all these to her. I dont feel great and i dont feel happy about it. I dont want to. I am feeling uneasy.... But why it just happen? WHY?? I cannot concentrate on the show that i was watching on my computer. Thinking where would she go? Will she be heading home?

Had wanted to raise my voice but my lips seemed to be glued out of a sudden... I dont know what would happen if i did. Tears fall in front of me. How much i wanted to hug her, how much i wanted to carress her... i dont know why didnt me.
Would it happen that she would be reading these by chance?
*sad**uneasy*

Night 2

2005-04-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

Went on the gathering at paragon with her friends. Had planned to meet at 8:30pm at paragon then. I didnt turn up and no news from me too. Called me, messaged me and left voice mails. No way to reach me...

9:30pm? "im outside ur house". Came into my room. Tried talking to me. Asked what's wrong. No reply from me again. Left the house. Bye..

Night

2005-04-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

Switched off the phone. Diabled accepting calls. Had a bath and a rest. Had planned to meet up for the Levis show in Zouk tonight but somehow things didnt go on as planned...

Waited again. I am kept waited again at potong pasir during the day. Said to call me but never. If i hadnt send a message to her, will she call? I doubt so. And i wrote ,"Lunch or home?" i meant wanna have lunch together or me be on my way home. The reply was "what u mean?". Nevermind.. since it wasnt what i expected as the reply.
Ok then. She called when i hadnt reply. "So how?.. they are waiting for me" RUSHING ME FOR DECISION AFTER BEING KEPT WAITING!!!!! I guess that's it. The call was hanged......What's this? I HATE LAST MINUTE RUSH. Called again later. I rejected all the calls. I am left stranding.. not knowing where to head.. i decided to get home. I am tired..

I dont know why things like this keep happening.. Would you tell me why? please.. i really want to know

What's wrong?

2005-04-15T23:02:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............................I dont know too!!!

Friday

2005-04-15T22:56:00.000+08:00

Today is a hot day. It is going to be bad...
1st.. phone being hanged
2nd.. bad time management
3rd.. rush for decision
4th.. no calls receive
5th.. left to wait again!

What worse can i have? It is freaking hot out there...

Being perfect or just moulding perfect?

2005-04-09T10:24:00.000+08:00

What is a perfect relationship? Does it really exist? Is it wrong to be a perfectionist? I have been searching for an answer. If perfect relationship really exist, then why the feeling of the pain is so real. What contributes to a perfect relationship then?

Ssurprise...

2005-04-08T16:10:00.001+08:00

Woke up.Switched on my monitor and come to know that the network is down again!!! What a day... Start figuring what is the problem. I wasnt really able to solve it till my aunt told me what went wrong; short circuit. Damn...

Received a message from an unknown number. Had wished i hadnt receive the message. That LIM PEI PEI failed me!!!!!!!!! well...i had expected it to be the outcome =( gotta work for the sup paper briefing on Monday then. The other results is ok. Never never... have i fail any papers before.

JMP 2 - A,
FNDB - A,
CMATHS 1 - B+,
FCSOS - C+,
I-PSY - C,
CMSK 1 - F.

Yeah yeah... i fail my comm skill. What a joke. Laugh if you must...

words

2005-04-07T16:05:00.000+08:00

My moto: How u treat me in life, u will get back double of it.
Philosophy: 我从不敢要求多.你不仁我就不仪.你做初一我做十五.
My word: 大小幼粗长短不重要cause it's not the size of the boat that matters but the motion of the ocean.

Don't ever try to cover up for what you have done, cause in the end it's you who will be suffering.
My advice: Face it.

*listening to maria carey & whitney houston "when you believe"*

What worse can happen ?

2005-04-04T11:52:00.000+08:00

Met her at somerset. Went down to suntec samsung customer service to ask about a problem. Had a bite at moven pick. Then went to bugis to look for bluetooth and screen protector. For this.. i am having no idea why is there a need to get a screen protector for a new phone.. Is there money too much to spend for people these days? I can share the spending part with them.

Later send her home after buying. Took a bus to chinatown to change to another one. One old man stood right-front of me, so close as if we knew! Bus came...followed me up and sat right beside me. Minutes later.. he started rubbing my tighs! FUCK!!! I pushed him away. Then got worse. His hand swing right over to rub my hands!! ARGHZZ.. I looked at him but he dont dare to look back. I tolerated. Later he used his left hand fingers to pinch my left hand. DAMN!!! I had enough. I retaliate. He quickly got down the bus. WHAT THE HELL!! why the fuck has it to be me? what if it wasnt me? a girl perhaps? Fuck the shit.

Not long after it, suddenly no of nowhere crawled a caterpillar out from my shirt!! I totally have no idea where and how it got into my shirt in the first place... What worse can happen to me in a day??? Got home. Immediately went in to bathe. *down*

F**K F**K F**K F**K F**K S**T S**T S**T S**T S**T

A new look

2005-03-14T01:38:00.000+08:00

Been wanting to change to a new skin. Searched for the one with a pig theme.Then i settled with this cute little pink based one. Feminine ehh? hahaa.. Been editing this skin for few days and i guess this is final. hehe.. hope it looks nice to you too

Went looking for mattress today

2005-03-14T01:28:00.000+08:00

Went looking for my mattress today with daddy and mummy today. First, we stopped by aljunied. Cant seem to find what i wants. Then passed by a banner that says somewhere in the factory there is mattress. We went in. Browsed and tried. AHHH.. finally found the one that is near to 100% of what i want. Mummy paid for the deposit and fixed a timing for the delivery tomorrow. Anyway i am having a week of study week from today till exam. Guessed i be staying the night at the house with my notes and book, staying from the internet (for a night or maybe for a whole week)! I dont know. Shall see how..

I be fine :)

back into posting again...

2005-03-14T00:47:00.000+08:00

Yesh! I am posting again. Been lazy to update all these while. Many things happened, for good or for bad.
Today she went meeting the ex-colleague of her's, so guess i be planning my programmes then. 8+ pm she reached home. I am bored the whole day =\. She logged on. After typing a few lines, came the 'lightning'......

(tu)龙(L)猪....*Be UnDeRsTaNdInG* says:
next sat i may go out with my poly frds eh...
(tu)龙(L)猪....*Be UnDeRsTaNdInG* says:
den den u will b studying right?
人类就是错误而长大 says:
nvm abt me
(tu)龙(L)猪....*Be UnDeRsTaNdInG* says:
no lah...
(tu)龙(L)猪....*Be UnDeRsTaNdInG* says:
mi wanna ask u...
(tu)龙(L)猪....*Be UnDeRsTaNdInG* says:
can i go out with them ma?

What am i suppose to do next saturday then? Do planning on my own again like today? ARGHHH...~!@#$%^&* I just wished to spend my time with her and she doesnt realise that. Kept saying things like "i scared i will be affecting your study", i cant recall when i ever complain about that. Even so with her around if it does affect me studying, i would have told her i cant be meeting her i cant be with her perhaps, maybe a week? Can i say "No"? i told myself not to be too protective but what should i say? =( Told her nevermind about me and go ahead. Mood went down. Put to offline mode then close it after awhile. haizzz =..(

back from the trip..

2005-01-31T10:36:00.000+08:00

Yesh... we have came back from the trip and enjoyed alot. Had alot of fun and feeling tired every night. Hmm.... it's time school starts =( but i am looking forward towards our next trip! hehe

2005

2005-01-22T13:12:00.000+08:00

Had a quarrel with veron. Wonder who's actually at the wrong... Over a 2hr of 'own time', what she told me as, hmmmmm........ what's mutual respect? Privacy har... whatever................

Have YOU ever been in a situation where u can't get to know what, where, and why ?
should there be privacy between couples? shouldnt it be in the way that there is no secret bewteen couples? God creates men to always give in?

2005.....

2005-01-22T13:10:00.000+08:00

Finally test is over! I am looking forward to my Genting trip next week.... cant wait to feel the clouds once again! haha... envy? I will post photos when im back :P

had a bad dream that woke me up..

2004-12-04T18:58:00.000+08:00

In the mid of the nite, i was woke up by my dream. It was a nitemare... I was looking for a cab to get back home.. Waited for long before i saw 1 cab moving off from stationary position. God! i wished it hadnt.... The cabby came and there was a uncle sitting at the back. He shouted out "there is noone driving the cab!.. there's just 1 hand wrist-length..!!" He quickly got out of the cab and we ran off the place. AHHHHHHHH....... it took me awhile before i got back to sleep again. *scared*

we took a photo card...

2004-12-04T01:22:00.000+08:00

Initially planned to go to her house today.. And yeah i bought lunch for her too. After eating her lunch, we rest till 6 then left for bugis. Had said earlier on that we will be going to Bugis to take photo card. Did i mention that the card cost $8!!!! just for 2..... DAMN... haha but it's alright considering that the outcome isnt that bad :p

Went for dinner at M.South. Had steamboat. It was really full... till now i still feel bloated =\ Later decided to go clarke quay. Had a chill by the river untill about 12am then we decided to head back home. Sent her to her house then i went back home... im really happy today..... =D

tiring...

2004-11-14T04:46:00.000+08:00

Had walk her home from Great World after watching Shutter. As said, she will be coming over to my house after she's off work today.. That's 1pm. She reached at 130pm, slept on my bed till 4+pm. Kelvin came to my house later then after interview..

So planned to watch a movie.. we settled at Doll Master. Got another 1 ticket for QS. Went for dinner after the show... Then decided on ktv at Kbox at in Parklane. Was around 11pm by the time we reach. Wasnt actually wanted to go, had no money left with me... but she's all along wanted to sing and so we went in together. So we sing till 3am... About to leave, quarrelled with QS over the bill. I HAVE NO MONEY LEFT! Seems like he doesnt understand... initially asked my gf to pay for her share.. WTF rite... I asked her there and wanting me to ask her to pay. Without any choice i told her about it. The night was screwed. Message tommy to help. He transfered me $11 so i have $20 for the bill. Settled the bill and left for home. Walked over the Mr bean's to meet up with tommy. Had passed me some cash to send her home. This is the worst night! Im being so pathetic in front of my gf!

Sent her home and walk her to the lift. Left after i see her going up.
Tommy came to fetch me home....Lucky thing there's still tommy there for me.. i would have walked home from her home then *wanting to cry*

visiting trip......

2004-11-12T14:37:00.000+08:00

Was watching movie with her and tommy the yesterday then.... in the midst, kelvin called to say he's in hospital. Hmmm.... got up early today to visit him. Damn im really tired.. *eyes are closing*

She has said 'Yes' ! hahaa....... it's a new beginning in my life! *happy*

yawnzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2004-11-10T11:44:00.000+08:00

SO tired lehz....... still i gotta wake up at 11am to prepare to meet my princess candy. *yawnz* Panda eyes liao o_O .... wished she is just beside me to sayang me~~~ Hmmm... i be meeting princess at bugis for a walk at 1pm, hopefully i wont be late =x

yawning as i type.... (^O^)

outing 2

2004-11-09T02:27:00.000+08:00

hmmm.... met her again today for dinner. She came to my house to wait for me cause i havent bath. She reach my house and we left together. Took a cab to cityhall... She had wanted to get ticket for the Mama Mia thingy. We queued and asked for the $25 seats, but they were all sold out.. hahaa just what i thought. Had our dinner at the food junction then went for a walk around Raffles city.. Decided to take a seat at the merlion's. Nagged at me the whole night.... Hand was around her and the feeling's right.

Chatted for a few hours with her. Later send her back then since she's feeling tired. I had asked if i could hold her hands.. told me she will let me know the next outing.. *feeling happy* =p We took a pic together for the 1st time! hahaa...

me & her at merlion's...

outing

2004-11-05T01:51:00.000+08:00

hmmm.... initially gave tommy my word that i would be joining him tonight. But i didnt keep up my word.. Here's the reason why.....

Was actually planning to go for a singing session at the KTV, then veron changed her mind, she decided to not go... Reason was that she feel left out. Alright then... after asking her about it, she told me y.. We were supposed to be meeting her at 8+pm at Boat Quay. She is knocking off at 6 but she doesnt want to go home then meet us later. She wanted to join us for dinner and head down to the KTV together.. But we didnt asked her to join us.. she felt left out.

So i thought ok then. Maybe i should ask her out for dinner then...And i did. Chose to meet her at bugis... Had our dinner at Fish & co. then with kelvin. hahaa... Kel was the one entertaining her all along. I asked her out but kel was the one talking to her.. >.< After dinnner, we went for a movie at Shaw. Shark's Tale!!!! omg... never thought i would be watching cartoons anymore. But the show's ok... Took a bus home with her after that... Chat with her under her block till 2+am... Tiring night..

Initially told tommy i was helping my dad work, but i was with her all along.. *felt bad*

letting nature decide for me......

2004-11-03T16:14:00.000+08:00

Intentionally set my msn to offline mode. I had planned to mia, im still confuse. Saw her online but ive never had a thought of chatting with her... i think i still need some time to think about it. Should i bring the medicine down to her house and give her a surprise later tonight? She is still sick.

What is happening to me? I really hope i can know. =( *never thought it would happen again*

im feeling confused....

2004-11-02T03:34:00.000+08:00

went for a coffee with her at coffee bean near her home. Enjoyed it thou it was a short 1.. Everything went on right but the place closes early, its the only problem. Had a chat with her then send her home. She still look nice even when she's in plain clothes.. cant get my eyes off her >.< haha... She's still sick but she still came.

For once i felt happy that cant be described.. Hoping for the next meeting up..

at coffeebean near her house..

slightly better mood...

2004-11-01T16:02:00.000+08:00

had a dream... I was actually carrying my bolster to shopping..... hahaa.. so embarrassing. Received a msg from veron. She told me she had a 2 days mc. That's good i thought cause she can have more rest. My mood is changing better.. hehe

sunday

2004-10-31T17:17:00.000+08:00

I got up at 12+ pm. Received a msg from veron at 10+am. Thanking me for last night. She is not feeling well today, had a bad sore throat and no appetite. Her msgs are different from yesterday.... WHY??????? Is there misunderstanding? Was it a one-sided love? Then what was last night? I cant get to forget what happened the night before. Were so closed then, now the feeling is totally different. I dont like this feeling. Im at a lost.
Should i forget what's yesterday and live what's tomorrow? or should i express how i felt towards her? Y must it always be like this.... im afraid to lose a friend. =(

night of disaster or start of a story?

2004-10-31T15:42:00.000+08:00

Im here to blog again. Woke up yesterday.. had a chat with veron not for long. Then i left for an interview. Got a hair cut and hair sprayed.. Guess what? The f**king boss told me he is not goin to hire someone just for 2 mths. What the hell! I specially wake up early in the morning to get my hair cut and he told me this! f**k this shit.! nvmz...

Then i receive sms from veron. Asked me to dbl o later in the night with her friends but i dont know any of them. ahhhh..... i wished to go and i hope to see her but i dont know any of her friends and they are all older than her. A big age gap! Damn.. it took me back. Lost.. Came back home, bathed and got to rest. After i woke up, there were 5 msgs and 2 miss calls... in which 3 msg was from veron. Asking about where i was? Chatted over the sms.. and i was asked again about tonight's plan. I have really no idea.. Got up from bed and get changed to go collect my pay at tangung pagar. Reached the work place at around 8.30pm. Got my pay at around 10pm. F**k up rite? Initially i msg veron asking her where she is. Then she told me they were not going dbl o but changing to MW. ahhhh..... I had wanted to go down to find her at dbl o. Her msgs sounds like she wanted me to go but scared im bored with her friends. what am i suppose to do then.......

Called tommy. He say he is coming to pick me up after passing the present to the bday girl. Reached my work place at around 10.30pm, we went to his house park his car. As planned, we went to a ktv. In the midst of enjoying, i come true with him. Told him i was suppose to meet veron then. He took over my hp... msg as he was me. Then finally veron agreed to meet me at rav. We quickly finished the jugs off and left to meet her.

Reached rav at about 2am. Met her and went into rav. She seems to have drink quite alot. It's the only thing that came into mind y she seems blur. Tommy ordered for a martell. Poured a cup for her cause she say she was thirsty. Soon the lights were on. The waiter shift our drinks to the sofa area. Went with her to the sofa. She told me she was cold and i hugged her. And it never stopped for the night. We were hugging and we kissed. I dont know what was on her mind but im sure of my feeling. Took care of her and we left at 5+am. Went to eat prata. Then everyone split for their home. Tommy asked her if she was coming with us to his house. She said she was going home and got into a cab. I actually never stop her from going back alone.... WHAT THE FARK! After that, tommy called her on my behalf. She told him because i never stop her and i never ask her, that's y she left for home. DAMN.. AM I REALLY A GUY?

has been a great day...

2004-10-18T01:08:00.000+08:00

totally bored to death in the day... then going for a scrub came into mind. Called up my friend and we are heading there to get myself scrubed. Damn... like it wasnt cheap. It's a hell $37!!! Luckily it's worth the money.. feels so smooth after it, hahaa...
Later we went down to a pub for a drink. Walk around the streets checking out the pubs.. and we finally settled in for this one we had never tried before. God, it's like paradise! haha.... scary though =p

just another day

2004-10-16T21:03:00.000+08:00

First week of my holiday just pass like this... i cant believe that i haven got a job yet! How am i going for my trip! god help me........ im going to watch shows i downloaded

ahhhhhh.......

2004-10-08T19:49:00.000+08:00

yeshhhhhhhhh! Finally finished my exams... I need a job now... Want a bike, a new hp and air ticket to europe. I had long planned to go for a holiday trip somewhere in december and going alone. Hopefully, this can come true..... Who can lend me $$$$$$?